Athens different guy

15 months later: different but the same...

2008-12-06T00:00:00.000+02:00

Here I am again, only 15 months after my last post… The partner has changed again but I have a bitter nostalgia when I think of my last boyfriend.
My best friend says that it’s a matter of zodiac signs and I’ll never be totally satisfied with whoever I have beside me; I will always want the one that I don’t have. He can be an ex or the next… But when he will become mine, I will want someone else, and so on… Once it has happened to flirt an ex while in a relationship with the guy that I cheated him with… Crazy…

Going to London!

2007-08-24T17:17:00.000+03:00

Next weekend, that is from Thursday 30/8 till Sunday 2/9 (long weekend!) I’ll be in London with my female best friend. I’d also like to go there with my boyfriend but next time... He couldn't come anyway. With my best friend we‘ll have lots of fun and I know we‘re gonna have a great time. Can anyone suggest me of some nice, trendy bars /clubs or parties to go out (we‘re 30something), but a place that she won’t be the only straight woman there?

Meeting a new guy

2007-08-23T18:12:00.000+03:00

Yesterday I was with some friends and there was also a guy that we had met once or twice in the past, I always found him more than attractive but yesterday we talked a lot and made me clear that he is also interested about me. I dropped him home and he asked me to come upstairs for a drink but I said I had promised to go to my best friend’s, he said “ok but I owe you a drink indoors or outdoors”. He also checked that we are going to meet on Saturday in a party and we said goodnight.
I like him a lot, in fact I’m quite enthusiastic about it, I’d like not only to have sex with him but to start something more serious. On the other hand, what shall I do with my boyfriend? We get along well, I can’t drop him out of the blue and he doesn’t deserve to be cheated. In addition does it worth to risk my satisfactory relationship with my boyfriend for something that it seems much more interesting, but if it proves not to be? I’m waiting for Saturday to see… And shall I tell to the new one that I am in a relationship? The fair will be to do so, but what if he backs off?

A new beginning...

2007-08-22T01:11:00.000+03:00

About 20 days after my previous post, we broke up with that boyfriend. He was probably “the love of my life” so far but I wasn’t getting what I was expecting from him, so it was a kind of salvation and relief for me. A month later he called me to make up again but I had already a month relationship with another guy! Yes, the next day after breaking up I met a guy in a gay bar and we’re still together… We ‘re having a good time both in bed and out of it and it’s going well. He’s not the love of my life but I enjoy being with him.

Still here...

2007-05-06T15:09:00.000+03:00

...we 're still together with my boyfriend, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, I didn't expct that we could be together for such a long time (13 months). It's my longest relationship - and his as well. Thanks to all of you for your reading and your concerns in your posts. Have a good time and run your lives just exactly as YOU want!

A new path

2007-01-30T18:36:00.000+02:00

We discussed a lot with my boyfriend yesterday and we didn’t break up. As a conclusion to the conversation I realized that he loves me too but his top priority is his job for the time being and I come next. Of course I’m not happy about it but what can I do? It’s the longest relationship he’s ever had and he doesn’t know how to handle it. His love, as he gives it to me, is not enough for me. But it’s his best. It’s no use forcing him to do something beyond his abilities. I love him and I don’t wanna lose him without trying harder. It’s the first that I’m truly in love, as well…
Now even for these next few hours after the discussion, we’re better.
I also decided not to post anything about my relationship with him anymore. I wouldn’t like him to find anyhow what I’m writing about him. It’s not fair. In a way, it can be regarded as gossiping him. The next post that I’m gonna refer directly to him will be in case we break up. The next posts will be more general.
I feel so grateful to all of you who have spent some of your time so far in my blog reading my posts and writing comments. I’m quite new to the blogosphere, that’s why I am making mistakes...

About to break up

2007-01-29T17:29:00.000+02:00

Last night we were about to break up. Perhaps I should have done so. Just because he had a guest in his house all weekend, we didn’t see each other. The same thing happened last weekend with another friend and also 2 weekends ago. He doesn’t have lust to see me and that’s ok with him. It’s 3 weeks since we haven’t done sex. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t tell me where he’s going and he doesn’t call me to know where I am. He never calls me on the mobile, he sometimes calls me home, if he finds me, it’s ok, or else he doesn’t call me on the mobile nor even sends me an sms. And when we talk afterwards he just refers me that he had called me home, in a very cool and indifferent way. He claims that he has feelings for me and when I once told him that I love him he just replied, “it’s mutual”. I never said that again…
So last night we found each other in a gay-friendly bar out of luck with our own friends… While he was feeling “oh what a coincidence” in a huge smile, I couldn’t hide my anger and sadness to find my 9-months boyfriend in such a bar. He had previously told me that he would go out with his guest and a friend, but he didn’t invite me. I had one of the saddest night and my friends were comforting me. I should have broken up.

He pissed me off again...

2007-01-26T17:52:00.000+02:00

My boyfriend is so closed as a person; he doesn’t talk to others easily about himself, about what he’s doing generally or what he’s done recently. He always asks questions instead, and wants to know about other people. He does the same thing to me of course. After a 9-month relationship he replies to my question “Where have you been?” “Out”, if I ask “With whom?” he replies “With friends” or “With a friend”. Then I’m forced to ask him with which friend and where exactly. I’m not the guy who wants to know everything in detail in a pressing way, but what the fuck, that’s not an answer! If I go on asking, he does reply, but he brings me to a situation that I don’t like. And I’m almost sure that there’s nothing to do with cheating or something that I mustn’t know. It’s just his type. Unlike me who without being asked I tell him everything with every detail, what I did, where I’ve been, with whom, at what time, etc. If I did something that I wouldn’t want him to know, of course I wouldn’t tell him, he’d do the same I guess. But it’s his style that pisses me off. Uff…

Generation next

2007-01-24T18:46:00.000+02:00

We went to the theater with my boyfriend yesterday and among the audience there were two guys in their early 20’s, beautiful, trendy-dressed and gay. I usually feel “proud” enough for my boyfriend and me regarding how we look like to the others eyes. But as I was staring at those guys I was thinking that they represent the next generation gay couple from ours. I feel young enough when I deal with people in my age, of course with the older ones and also with the little younger than me or even much younger since their look is up to just trendy. When I see gay guys close to 20yo dressed very trendy and looking very younger, only then I realize that a generation gap tends to be formed… But I wasn’t gazing at the guys in the theatre in an envy way but I was admiring their look, beauty and youth, thinking the (similar) things that I was doing 10-15 years ago. Fortunately, I still feel pretty fine with my age, my look and my life so far ‘cause regarding the overall situation I’m quite satisfied by the way I balanced between personal gay life and social behavior and status. Yes, I’m generally optimistic as a person…

Eurovision Song Contest 2007 - the greek contestants

2007-01-22T20:11:00.000+02:00

Since I run a – temporary - quiet love life it’s time to deal with other things such as the nominees to represent Greece in Helsinki for the Eurovision Song Contest 2007… Three are the candidates: Christos Dantis (the composer of the 2005 Helena Paparizou’s “My number One” at the 1st photo), Tamta (originally born in Georgia, x-USSR at the 2nd photo) and Sarbel (half Cypriot, half Lebanese at the 3rd photo) but all three are having a great success in Greece. Each one is gonna compete singing their own song and people will vote to decide which one will represent us. Although we haven’t heard their songs yet, I hope Sarbel has a good dance one ‘cause he dances really nice shaking his hips in a very sexy and irresistibly attractive way… The Greek final will take place in the 28th of February, until then we’re crossing our fingers…

Another refreshing Sunday day-trip

2007-01-21T23:48:00.000+02:00

Another warm - regarding the temperature (21oC!) – Sunday, another day trip to another close to Athens seaside town, another great time that we had with my boyfriend. Unfortunately it didn’t end up with sex like the other time but it was ok anyway. We needed to spend some time together after a Friday and a Saturday night that we went out separately or stayed home with our friends. Maybe we just introduced a nice Sunday-trip circle, we’ll see…

Such a misery guy...

2007-01-19T19:12:00.000+02:00

One of the things that I can’t stand in a person is stinginess, especially when it’s not a matter of lacking of money but unwillingness to spend, ie pure misery. My boyfriend is such a guy. He always pays his share only, he usually makes unanswered calls in order to call him back, when I tell him to go out somewhere he says “I don’t have money”, if I say “don’t think about it, I’ll pay” then he agrees, and many other similar countless occasions. And I know that he’s getting paid very well, better than me and at the same time he’s saving money while I’m spending here and there and I’m full of credit cards and loans. It was unavoidable not to feel so happy when he told me today that he’ll be responsible for another project for the summer for which he’ll gain loads of money. I was thinking that at the same time he refuses to go out because he can’t afford to pay his drink and also that when we order salads in restaurants he chooses the cheapest one, even if the difference with the next more expensive one is €0,20…
While I was writing these lines he called me and I wasn’t in a good mood ‘cause I have to make my annual check-up at the cardiologist and instead of encouraging me he got sulky - though I had previously explained to him the reasons - and said “you’re not in the mood, send me an sms when you leave doctor” and we hung up! What sympathy! What the hell am I doing with this guy?

Problems with friends

2007-01-17T14:09:00.000+02:00

I’m quite disappointed with my friends. They had asked me if I’d like to join them to bouzoukia (a kind of club where the top greek singers perform live) next week and I said that I‘ll know for sure in the beginning of February ‘cause maybe I may have to go there for another friend’s birthday. So I suggested postponing it a few days. In the beginning they said “yes” but today they told me that they’re thinking of going at the first date – probably without me.
I wouldn’t feel so disappointed – although I’d like to join them so much - if this was the only incident. I’m afraid that from the time that I have this rather serious relationship with my boyfriend I feel that my friends (all are single) keep a little distance from me and they don’t put me in their plans. I don’t like that to happen. I have made clear that there are things to do with my boyfriend and things to do with them, but I think that they feel that they have fallen from the list of my priorities and they react making plans without me. They just ask me if I want to join them or not but they don’t let me involve during the plan-making phase, like previously.

Hero...

2007-01-17T00:24:00.000+02:00

Tonight we went out with my boyfriend and a friend of his. While they were talking, once they had a disagreement about something and my boyfriend started making fun of him and talking to him in his usual ironic style. Then his friend told me “How can you manage with him? You’re a hero!”, I said “I know” and we laughed. But my boyfriend didn’t. He didn’t like it at all. He smiled, but many times during the night after that incident he was bringing it back out of nothing, supposed to be in a “funny” way but I’m sure that it touched him…
It’s true, anyway, but unfortunately he doesn’t take any notice, no matter how many times I tried to show him my rejections to some of his ways.

A Sunday trip keeps the passion alive...

2007-01-16T00:18:00.000+02:00

On Sunday we had a great time with my boyfriend. We went to a nearby place close to the seaside where we had lunch in a tavern and then went for a coffee, cinema next, to his house watching TV at night, taking a quick glance at the Sunday newspapers, drinking vermouth and then having sex, sleeping together until the next morning that I had to go to work leaving him with a goodmorning kiss…
Things were different tonight back in Athens that we went for a drink but we left early because he probably got many things about his work on his mind.
As a result, we should probably be making trips outside Athens more often…

Fighting and grouching

2007-01-13T03:12:00.000+02:00

Of course we didn’t avoid the fighting with my boyfriend tonight! I dropped him outside his house without talking after a hard quarrel that we had. My friends finally didn’t come so we went out in a gay-friendly bar us 3: me, my boyfriend and his guest friend. The point is that his friend doesn’t respect me, something that it got obvious from many occasions. I didn’t tell him anything – it’s the 3rd time that I see him - but I asked my boyfriend afterwards which the reason is: he’s just such a guy or my boyfriend let him act like this (because I don’t know what he’s saying to him about me). My boyfriend got furious about him and he told me I should react immediately in the real time that was happening and at the same time he got mad at me because I shouldn’t have doubted about him.
Although he is the one to blame and of course I do doubt about him, he always makes me feel guilty even for things that I’m not responsible at all. I don’t know if it’s better not to tell him anything about things that annoy me, because every time that I do so we fight and we ruin our relationship. If I don’t tell him, I get pissed off internally – anyway – but the next day we’re fine. Tomorrow I don’t know if we’ll be fine and I’m afraid that these fights and grouch poisons our relationship for a long term.

Bad vibes

2007-01-12T20:26:00.000+02:00

I strongly believe in good and bad vibes. Unfortunately these days my boyfriend hosts a friend of his, a guy who’s producing the worst vibes that I have ever got from a person… He has come to Athens 3 times and I have quarreled with my boyfriend all of them, one of them we were about to break up. Even today we had a little fight on the phone, I’m sure this weekend will not end up in a good way. The guy is one of the most antipathetic that I have ever met. And my boyfriend is either naïve or has certain unknown motives for keeping him as a friend. Imagine that once, just because we met with my boyfriend in a club and greeted (it was in the beginning) he got pissed off and said – shaking his head backwards – “should I leave?”. The other time just because I slept in my boyfriend’s house he got so pissed off that he left in the morning without saying goodbye or even thanks for the host and didn’t talk to my boyfriend for 6 months. I don’t know what I’m gonna face tonight. So I have also invited my best friend with her friend to come tonight out with us – for backup - and let the “party” begin!!!

The cost of a call

2007-01-10T19:22:00.000+02:00

During the whole day I was longing to see my boyfriend tonight after so long that we hadn’t met, due to his flu. Then I called him 3 times and he couldn’t talk because he was out – he didn’t mention where, of course – or he had too much work. But he never called me nor sent me merely an sms. In addition, he was kind of rude and heavy on the phone; he just wanted to arrange the time that we’ll meet.
No need to say that now I don’t have any willing to see him at all. He has this special capability to destroy my feelings and to disappoint me out of the blue, despite my best of intentions…

Internal wonderings

2007-01-09T17:40:00.000+02:00

I have 2 best friends; they’re both female, attractive and mainly single. They always have some kind of loose relationships or little stories but nothing steady. So when we meet – me with each one, not all us 3, they don’t talk to each other – we spent most of the time talking about how our current relationships are going or about new ones or everything that has to do about it.
Sometimes I wonder: a) do all people spend so much time, thought and energy on these issues? b) are we doing right?
The temporary answer that I’ve given to the second one - because I finally don’t care about a) (the question was rhetorical) – is that these affair matters are vital to our lives. The better love life we have the better we feel about ourselves and there is also an impact to the rest aspects of our lives. I believe that people who after a long steady relationship become sentimentally dead, they face the negative consequences reflected to their personality and become conservative and jealous - hence mean.

A matter of targeting...

2007-01-08T17:57:00.000+02:00

When I was in my early 20s I was attracted by guys in my age. Later in my late 20s I was attracted by guys younger than me. Now in my early 30s I’m attracted by guys much younger than me. In other words, I’ve always been attracted by guys in their early 20s. Fortunately, until now I haven’t experienced any problem in their responding; on the contrary now it’s easier for me, I don’t know how it comes. Probably because my target group is guys with a little girlish beauty and shy behavior who – like girls – always want a relationship with older guys…
One of them I met today in a Civil Service. Just by the time I listened to his voice, my gaydar activated and located him. I wanted a piece of information and of course it was him that I asked. Then he entered his colleague’s office exactly at the time when I was there talking to her. After that I thought to myself that we‘re gonna meet again and we did; twice in the elevator! But it was many people there and we only exchanged these certain looks while talking about work stuff …
According to my personal records it’s these younger guys that I mostly like, with which there’s passion and enthusiasm in the beginning, but as fast as I get to know them, I get bored very easily. And my 3 longest relationships are with guys close to my age, especially my current one that it’s a guy with a totally different appearance; so straight-looking…
My erotic mentality seems like these straight greek guys’ one who keep on flirting and shagging with “lolitas” and “barbies” but their true relationship is with a serious woman. Am I a straight gay, or what?

Flu problems...

2007-01-07T03:28:00.000+02:00

My boyfriend has caught flu and he’s in his house. I feel uncomfortable because I’d like to be with him so that he doesn’t feel alone but on the other hand I don’t wanna catch flu as well… So I decided not to visit him but talking to him on the phone many times per day, “encouraging” him. Apart from the fact that I hate being ill – like everyone – I explained to him that in case I also catch flu I’ll be unable to work, something impossible at this period and he seemed to understand.
The truth is that I feel awful anyway. Today I didn’t go out; I just exchanged visits with a best friend.
But I think I can’t risk it visiting him just because it’s weekend…

At last...

2007-01-05T17:09:00.000+02:00

It was nice last night. My boyfriend was feeling that he had flu, so we stayed in his house and we had a real nice time together. It’s nights like these that constitute the reason why I’m still with him.
But tonight I ‘m gonna meet my friends, a night that I’m waiting with enthusiasm…

Unscrupulous

2007-01-04T17:05:00.001+02:00

I feel a little awful. My boyfriend did something “unfair” in his work and I was very sarcastic and criticized his manners hardly. But all I said were true and I mean every word I used. We are so different personalities, he grabs every chance in order to succeed professionally, no matter if these options are totally opposite to his believes and thoughts that he was previously with irritating passion supporting. He’s the type of guy who thinks only of himself and if someone is willing to stand by him, agreeing and accepting what he does, it’s ok. If not, then he’s out of his life. That’s why he has no friends –at all – and his longest relationship lasted 6 months. I probably am too patient.
The problem is that in my life I was always avoiding this type of guys that I had met either in a friendly, erotic or family environment. And now one of these is my boyfriend. A guy that wouldn’t hesitate to sell his mother’s soul in order to achieve something personal – that’s a greek expression… Now that passion and enthusiasm has faded out of our relationship, now his true character has revealed. And when I tell him my point of view he gets angry, he makes personal attacks and concludes to “we can’t communicate” which is not far from reality. So I usually prefer to tell him that I agree or that he’s right or to not comment at all, in order to avoid quarrelling. ‘Cause when I tell him the truth then I regret it and think that he’s not gonna change anyway, I’m not gonna be with him forever, so what’s the use?

Disappointment...

2007-01-04T00:21:00.000+02:00

It had been 15 days since the last time I saw him and we went out to eat something and drink a glass of wine for only an hour. He said he was sleepy, he was tired to go to a further place close to the sea - although I’m the driver – he was very calm and quiet like I had seen him the previous day, he didn’t talk much, as always, but he said he missed me – that was a change! – and he suggested to go somewhere for the weekend. But it was only 11.00 and he said “shall we leave?”…
The problem is that I like him and I think it’s mutual. The hardest part is that we feel things for each other but he drags me down, he doesn’t let me free my energy, he doesn’t get my humor. When I’m with him I rarely smile while all people know me from my smile and my laugh. Marianna said we have to surprise each other, but I don’t have the courage and the mood anymore since whenever I tried (and I tried hard sometimes), all usually fall behind. Is there a salvation?

Something's opened my eyes

2007-01-03T19:53:00.000+02:00

My boyfriend’s in town actually. I‘m gonna see him tonight. But my mind can’t focus on anything else than the guy that I met on New Year’s Eve and how great time we would have together if the situation was different and we could be together. Our relationship wouldn’t last long but I’m sure I would enjoy it. I’d live the enthusiasm, a feeling that feeds me and now I’ve forgotten how it feels like. My boyfriend is nice but we live a quiet family life ‘cause he’s such a type of guy. This kind of life is good but maybe 10 years later not yet in our age. I think I want to live my life with more energy, now that I still can.

Back to routine

2007-01-02T18:04:00.000+02:00

I think that today I miss my boyfriend at last… It’s probably because I went back to the office and thus to my everyday routine but I miss his hug. And even though I was one step before I cheat him I feel better that I finally didn’t. I think that this 15days period that we were away from each other did good to our relationship. Tomorrow he’s returning but maybe he’s leaving on Friday for a business trip, I hope he will…

Strong temptation...

2007-01-01T23:05:00.000+02:00

Happy New Year!
Last year I divorced my 10 months boyfriend, only 3 hours before the year’s changing. 5 hours later I had already found a new one. This year it didn’t happen something like this but I got involved in another strange situation. The temptation finally came but in a wrong way of course… He came in the shape of an about 24yo guy who happened to be the boyfriend of a friend’s friend; the boyfriend of the host of the party, the night that they announced their “engagement”, probably the shortest-lasting ever engagement in the gay history, since some hours later they probably divorced after his strong and in front of all’s eyes extended pressuring flirt to me!
But let’s take thing from the beginning. From the moment we saw each other in his boyfriend’s house we both felt this mutual attraction, but we both have boyfriends and especially his boyfriend was present, the host of the party, my friend’s friend who invited us and bought rings to engage him in front of us! Things were limited only to mutual stares in the party but then we went to a gay bar. Things were getting more and more obvious to everyone to understand that something’s happening between me and him, but as the night was passing and we were both getting more and more drunk we didn’t care about the other’s presence; after the exchange of these looks, we went on talking closely and then dancing close enough to make the others stop dancing and looking at us (including his boyfriend). While his friends were encouraging him, my friends started the action. They suggested me in a discreet manner that we should leave, something that we finally did but without my clear approval.

Only when we got out I started to think what my friend’s friend would think about me. Hopefully he didn’t seem to be angry of me but his boyfriend.
The truth is that I was flattered by his flirt and went on having a good time while the couple was divorcing but I don’t feel guilty because I didn’t start anything and if it weren’t me, it would be someone else (common but real excuse).
If the situation was different I’d like to do something with the guy. He seemed to be so outgoing and energetic… I know he’s a kind of slut and his behavior towards his boyfriend was unacceptable but my intention wouldn’t be to marry him… Nor even to engage him…

Democracy does not revenge

2006-12-31T20:09:00.000+02:00

Having been shocked by the cruel videos of Saddam’s killing I can’t think of anything else than to wish something utopian like people not to be idiots, as the greek root of the word means: a person who doesn’t involve in common issues but only cares about his own. Less Violent, More Human and thus Happy New Year 2007!

PS. The following paragraph is taken from freeathens.blogspot.com

"Cheer up Christian Republicans: you killed another one, Happy New Year!!!
American Republicans should have felt guilty for the killing of Saddam if they had the privilege of feelings. But since they are unable to feel anything at all unlike other human beings, it’s worthless even to bring it to discussion. Although I’m against all this national proud stuff, it’s the first time that I really feel that I am proud to come from the country that invented democracy and I am quite satisfied that after 2.500 years the whole continent, Europe, has adopted many of the values of ancient Greece. One of them is that “democracy does not revenge”. But this applies to real democratic countries; those in which death penalty is legal are not considered democratic ones of course. That’s the difference between USA and Europe: hypocrisy - morality and values like the degree of importance of the human life. "

Zero

2006-12-31T01:15:00.000+02:00

Yesterday we went to a near casino with 2 friends after having drunk a lot in a friend’s house at first and me driving drunk with 160km/h in a distance of 100km and back in the middle of the night, from 12.00 till 4.30 in the morning. It took us less than 15 minutes to gamble and lose €100 and passed the rest of the time having free drinks while gazing at strange people with serious and angry faces gambling and losing loads of money in such an easy way, like the way they earned it probably. But generally we had a good time because it was this moment’s decision to go that made us very excited to do it.
Today I just saw friends and went to the movies. I had a great time too but at the end of the day I missed my boyfriend. And I realized that this time I miss him more than the previous ones. Does it probably mean that as the time passes we’re getting closer one another? Should I be happy about it ‘cause it really means a lot or should I be frightened because the relationship is getting tighter and I regard it as a serious undertaking that I don’t want to have this period in my life?

Happy New Year to all of us! 2007 will be a blast, Marianna's right!

No cheating...

2006-12-29T15:24:00.000+02:00

I gradually realize that it isn’t a matter of willing to cheat someone, especially someone that you care about, only because of lack of good sex. I’m not that type of guy to do it in cold blood. But… If there is a moment for example one night being drunk in a bar meeting someone or just returning from a club making a phone call to an ex-boyfriend it’s easier and that action justifies that the only purpose is the lack of sex and nothing else. It’s not a matter of a pre-taken decision but just “a moment of weakness” or “low resistance” to temptation...
For the moment I just enjoy seeing more my friends, meeting people I don’t see so often lately, still making plans for the New Tear’s Eve, gathering at houses playing games etc. Innocent kind of stuff…

Missing sex

2006-12-27T17:23:00.000+02:00

I miss sex. I definitely miss sex. Even when my boyfriend’s here I miss it - or even if I don’t miss it at all, I miss the good one – imagine now that he’s not in Athens and he’s coming back next week. Under other circumstances I would cheat him, in fact I would have cheated him from the beginning, but now I’m thinking about it. I’m almost sure that he has already done it to me, sometime that he believed I cheated him and he did it back for revenge. Unfortunately this is the way he is thinking.
Anyway I don’t want to do it for revenge but because I really miss sex. Shit, I don’t know what to do. On the other hand, I definitely don’t want to risk my relationship for a moment of pleasure, even if I consider it as vital. My mind is so confused and I have a week to decide…

Canceling

2006-12-26T14:25:00.000+02:00

I’m getting so pissed off when my friends cancel what we have already arranged beforehand. These days it’s happened several times – in fact 3. Ok, I know my friends and I know their customs but if we plan to do something one or two days ago and when the time comes it’s being cancelled after my call with the purpose to fix the exact time, then I’m getting pissed off. Probably I’m not talking about real friends, but people we’re going out with. So I’m gonna pick up my best friend alone without a friend with whom we had already arranged.

Tele-Christmas

2006-12-26T11:23:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I had the most quiet Christmas day as far as I remember – except of the one 15 years ago that I had a light kind of pneumonia… I wasn’t sick this year but I didn’t even get out of my house all day, I was watching TV, copying favorite series to dvd, editing them, printing their cover etc. At the same time I was exchanging thoughts over the TV program with my boyfriend who is in his parents’ house in another town almost captive.
At least today I’m expecting by best friend to come from her birthplace too in order to spend the day together… It’s the last day of the Christmas holidays anyway…

Night out with friends

2006-12-25T13:05:00.000+02:00

It finally happened last night what I was afraid. We went with 2 friends to this gay-friendly bar but there weren’t many people there in general and as for gays the only ones were probably us 3, the music was nothing special and we said we should go somewhere else for the second drink. Then we discussed about the radio spot of this meat-market gay club that we‘ve all listened in the evening with the motto “the happiest club in the city” and a friend suggested that we can go there and the other one agreed. You understand how terrible was the situation that I was found. I’d like to go there too, but I shouldn’t. So, I told them that I can’t go there and explained the reasons why. My friend told me “ok you just go there for your friends, we’re here to protect you from ‘temptations’ anyway!”. But I told him that I don’t want to open such a going-to-gay-clubs-with-friends circle ‘cause it will be created a situation that I won’t like and he seemed to understand. At that point I made them clear that if they want to go to that club, they can go, it’s fine with me, but they both interrupted me and said no, no problem let’s go somewhere else altogether. I think that I put them to a difficult position anyway. So I proposed 3 other gay-friendly bars, they easily agreed and we went to one of them where I found an x-boyfriend of mine doing PR there. It’s been a long time since I hadn’t seen him, he was very enthusiastic, he brought us some shots and generally it was nice and cool night out with friends, though I would prefer it to be more clubby.

Temptation?

2006-12-24T19:51:00.000+02:00

I just listened to a radio spot, advertising my favorite gay club that it’s been ages since the last time I went there. In fact it was till I met my boyfriend. It’s an unsaid agreement that we’ve done, not to go to pure gay bars anymore neither alone not even together. But we can go to gay-friendly ones with mix crowd. The truth is that this certain club is a kind of a meat market in which I’ve divorced many times in the past due to other “temptations” that I met there and couldn’t resist...
Sometimes I feel that I oppress myself but at the same time I know that if I go there something will happen to destroy my relationship, something that I don’t want to happen right now. On the other side, if I had found out that my boyfriend went there, I would have been very upset and it would also change the state of our relationship. I think that this is an essential compromise in order to keep a serious relationship. I’ll go to a gay-friendly club with my friends tonight instead!

Have a Psychedelic Christmas you all!!!

No party, no sms :-(

2006-12-24T01:52:00.000+02:00

I’m a little upset because although we had arranged to go to a party with a friend tonight we finally didn’t because it got late and he was about to fall asleep and tired… So I stayed home with 2 friends and being already pissed off I got an sms from my boyfriend saying he’s doing nothing there and he longs to go to his parents’ house. While I was in a sensitive kind of mood I made the mistake to reply saying like a silly that I was expecting him to say he was longing to come to my house instead. In Greece we have an expression saying, “if he replied to you, then he replied to me too”, meaning he never replied… But we talked later and he seemed to be definitely somewhere indoor. I’m very disappointed for not going to the party anyway…

Mysterious thoughts

2006-12-23T18:08:00.000+02:00

In the morning we tried to talk by phone but he said he couldn’t hear me because of my mobile’s bad network, although I could hear him perfectly. He can’t talk free all times of the day when he’s there. I really don’t know what he’s doing up there and with who. He used to live for many years and all his x-boyfriends are there. But I can’t do anything. Once I’ll go with him and I’ll see.
According to his sign of zodiac, he is unfaithful. A month ago he’s told me “you’re my more lasting relationship”, having been together for 7 months and also “it’s the first time that I’ve been so faithful”. Of course I didn’t ask him “how much faithful you are?” because I wouldn’t believe the answer whatever it would be. Should I cheat him (too)?

Missing(?)

2006-12-22T17:24:00.000+02:00

I kissed him goodbye in the morning and I already miss him. I wrote him a note on the gift that I gave him saying something like “separate for these days, together for the rest”. I didn’t quite mean it when I wrote it, but I think I do mean it now that he’s gone. I can never be quite sure about myself. There are times that I want someone so desperately and some moments later I can forget him easily lessening his importance to me and changing the way I see things totally.

Kissing him goodbye

2006-12-21T18:13:00.000+02:00

Tomorrow my boyfriend is going to his parents to spend the Christmas and New Year’s holidays there. I think it will be about 2 weeks. So we’re gonna spend this night together.
My feelings are so confused about this period. I think I’ll miss him but I’ll also be free to spend more time with my friends and with people that I haven’t seen for long time. I think we both need this space for a while. And it will show us if our relationship gets stronger or not.

The dark clouds returned...

2006-12-20T17:57:00.000+02:00

I indeed had a super great with my friends last night, exchanging gifts, talking, laughing, drinking, listening to music and play “taboo” till 3.30 in the morning. At the same my boyfriend was out with people (friends?) that I don’t know (he hadn’t told me), his mobile was closed or out of network until 3.00 when he replied to my sms and telling me it was a confession night for them (who?) while drinking. I’m gonna ask him tonight for more details but can an 8-months relationship go on this way? Without telling me what he’s doing, while I’m telling him everything? And why was the mobile closed? It’s not strange then that my friends wished me for next year to see me more happy and smiley than this year and return to the “good old me” that they know?

Christmas (shopping) spirit

2006-12-19T19:10:00.000+02:00

Today I spent all evening searching for gifts for my friends and my boyfriend. I’m gonna meet my friends tonight in one’s house while I’m gonna see my boyfriend tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. All of them are gonna spent Christmas with their parents, who don’t live in Athens. I’ll stay here. Anyway, I was very happy, though tired, choosing gifts and even though my budget is limited, finally I didn’t consider money at all and bought gifts that I liked and I hope they‘ll like them too. I really enjoyed it! (Did the Christmas spirit come to me without taking any notice at all?)

Jealousness

2006-12-19T00:40:00.000+02:00

He went out with a friend for a drink while a friend of mine paid me a visit. Now my friend has left while he’s still out. I shouldn’t be jealous but I can’t control it. I don’t want to show it to him but I can’t always hide it. My friends tell me that this uncertainty feeds me and keeps my relationship alive, but I don’t quite agree. I think I would prefer someone quieter than him to stay at home waiting for me and not make me think of what he could be doing out there. I also forget my good manners when socially, I only care and focus on him and I don’t behave to his friends, for example, as I should, I’m losing myself…

Sofa Sunday

2006-12-18T18:33:00.000+02:00

After a Saturday night-out with my friends and a Sunday morning quarrelling with him by phone, I spent the whole Sunday lying on his sofa having an irritating big hangover. Surprisingly he was so nice to me, he wasn’t disturbed by the fact that I went out having drunk so much and lying there in a kind-of-coma condition. He was bringing me everything I needed or asked him and spent the whole evening there together, it was so nice. And on top, we had sex twice (after 14 days…)! This is how I like the relationship to be, the relationship that I enjoy being in, the way I want to spent winter Sundays…

Happy again (without him)

2006-12-16T19:44:00.001+02:00

He had to attend a seminar in the afternoon and I went with 2 friends to a friends’ T-shirt shop where they gave a pre-Christmas party. It was great, interesting people, nice music, plenty of wine, trendy T-shirts and I had a good time with my friends drinking, talking, watching and discussing people, laughing and flirting at last. I needed all this. I have been missing it all this period. My boyfriend gives me nothing but sorrow all this time. I’m making moves towards him and he pushes me. It’s only me that wants to keep this relationship alive and with passion ‘cause he doesn’t. He’s so cruel. But it has to be both that would like the relationship to move on or else it’s doomed to fail. I’m afraid we’re moving towards this direction.

Still no sex

2006-12-16T01:29:00.000+02:00

Friday night and he wanted to stay alone at home putting in order his stuff in his apartment. 12 days without sex. Let’s see tomorrow

Another disappointment...

2006-12-15T20:01:00.000+02:00

Last night we didn’t have a good time either. We went to a bar, I didn’t like it and told him to leave. We did but he stopped talking, we went for dinner and he was quiet, answering with one word to whatever I was saying. Then I stopped talking and I was thinking of how nice it would be if I were alone. I told him that we’d better leave. And we left after having stayed at the restaurant less than an hour.
The thing that I have to improve is not to take him so seriously and to think that if he’s upset without reason I should pay no mind.

Unhappy

2006-12-14T18:30:00.000+02:00

After an 8 months relationship, the things that make me sad are unfortunately more than the things that make me happy. I feel free only when I’m with my friends and not with him. But I can’t do what I want even then. I can’t go to a gay bar, for example without him. It’s a kind of “unspoken agreement” that we have made. But I’m not myself when I’m with him. And if I show him myself we’ll probably break up. It may sound silly but we have also arranged an Easter-trip together, which we have already paid for and it adds to my nervousness.

No sex

2006-12-10T18:54:00.000+02:00

We passed all the weekend together with my boyfriend, we made things together we went to the theatre, we ate something out, we walked around, we laid on his sofa reading the Sunday newspapers, watching TV touching, hugging and kissing each other but no sex. He was horny enough many times – me always! – especially in the morning when we woke up and we were hugging and “playing” still in bed. Although we were touching each other, he showed to me that he didn’t want to go further. He’s definitely not a sex maniac – the opposite I guess- but the whole weekend without sex? A reason that I can imagine is that on Saturday morning I woke up much earlier than him and left him in bed, going out for a coffee with my friends and perhaps this is a kind of revenge on his mind. I don’t know. Unfortunately(?) we have never discussed about sex; there has never arisen a problem which can be solved by discussion anyway. I hope the problem won’t insist.

Weekends together

2006-12-09T16:41:00.000+02:00

I love weekends! Yesterday we spent the evening and the night together; we went out, then came back to his house, we slept together and I also had a chance for a coffee with my friends in the morning without him - because it's vital meeting my friends. Now we're gonna meet again goin' to theatre, probably for a drink afterwards and sleep at his place again tonight. I feel so great sleeping with him, just the touching of his body makes me sleep like a baby... Pity that we don't sleep together during the weekdays but at the same time this absence makes me feel missing him and longinig for the weekends!

Unbalanced relationship

2006-12-08T19:08:00.000+02:00

My boyfriend cares a lot about his job and himself. He doesn’t care a lot about me (it’s the opposite to the song). I’m just someone who’s there with him, together with him to all the things he’s doing, supporting and surrounding him. That’s how I feel. It’s not that I share him with other people – he doesn’t have friends – but with things like his hobbies, his work and I’m not the protagonist in his life; I just exist. On the contrary I’ve put him unusually high to my scale of appreciation and to the top of my priority list. I know that the balance is not equal but I can’t control it. Once I’ll gain control and the situation will change dramatically I’m afraid.

Worrying...

2006-12-08T01:34:00.000+02:00

My boyfriend just accepted a second job tonight for a magazine and he had to go to a nightclub where they are singing live in greek, in order to write a report. I’m not happy at all about it. I’m about to sleep and he’s having fun outside. If I knew it from the beginning I wouldn’t start a relationship with him for 8 months now.
Apart from this (the worrying thing) he also didn’t like at al these shows and he was saying that it’s a kind of subculture etc. and now he’s attending the show only for the money. He comes down to me this way.

Missing…

2006-12-07T01:52:00.000+02:00

I didn’t see my boyfriend tonight, neither last night as well. And I missed him. I saw my best friends instead. And I love to miss him!

Technological accidents…

2006-12-06T00:01:00.000+02:00

Last night we decorated the Christmas tree together, it was nice though I wasn’t in a quite good mood because of some family health problems.
Some minutes ago I realized that a video tape was accidentally erased that I had recorded a TV appearance of him during the summer, the unique in the period that we are together. He doesn’t have a copy and I was about to record it on a DVD disc as soon as I would get my recorder back from the technician… I’m quite sad about it…

Delete Christmas!

2006-12-04T17:43:00.000+02:00

Yesterday we were discussing with my boyfriend about making a trip during the Christmas weekend somewhere in Greece – on New Years Eve weekend he’ll visit his parents. But while we were searching for possible destinations he noticed that we would feel so uncomfortable because all these hotels in the mountains will be full of straight couples and typical big Greek families; being two guys together those days we’ll become an open subject for discussion for them. One could say, “who cares?” but we do actually because we don’t want people looking down on us and behave strange and suspiciously to us. Someone not Greek cannot understand it but it happens. If it was an ordinary weekend there would be no problem, but it’s those shitty “family” days… And it doesn’t exist a kind of winter place where young people would go cool with friends, a little bit gay-friendly etc. At least not during the Christmas time.
We didn’t talk about traveling abroad – which it would be great - because we don’t want to spend much money now (since we have already planned to make a trip during Easter holidays) apart from Sofia, Bulgaria that he suggested but I didn’t find it a good idea traveling 12 hours by bus and visiting Byzantine churches and monasteries… So he will go to his parents earlier and we booked air-tickets to fly to Thessalonica for 4 days in March instead!

Kept secrets 2

2006-12-03T23:30:00.000+02:00

Finally about his yesterday’s visitor, - "Too Hotty" was right on his comment - it was an old friend from his birthplace that I haven’t met and paid him a visit since he’s in town for a few days. But my boyfriend is the type of guy that doesn’t talk a lot and he believes that “since you don’t know him, what’s the use telling you who he is?” something that is absolutely out of my way of thinking. I always tell him about all my friends and the people I know, no matter if he has ever met them. I am very open to him and he is not. But after 7 months that we ‘re together I have quite understood his way of thinking though it’s faraway from mine.

Kept secrets

2006-12-01T17:56:00.000+02:00

Last night we didn’t meet with my boyfriend because he had to go to a business kind of meeting – although he invited me and I denied coming. All day today we hadn’t spoken on the telephone and when I called him when I woke up the answer was “I’m with a friend” and I just told him “ok, call me later”. But is this a response from a guy that you have a 7 months relationship? “I’m with a friend”? With whom? Because I take all things in a good way, I can tell that all these things are just a bad coincidence and a friend has just come and didn’t want to say something in front of him. But why?

I'm just a jealous guy...

2006-11-30T18:18:00.000+02:00

I’m quite disappointed because I ‘ve just heard from my boyfriend that he has to make a business trip abroad and maybe another one during next summer. It may sound crazy but I’m jealous, I just can’t control it. Of course I don’t show it to him and I keep staying calm encouraging him in whatever he attempts, because this is the way I should normally behave. But the truth is that every time he’s far from me I’m afraid he will cheat me. He hasn’t ever shown me such a sign but that’s the most worrying thing. I think that if he wants to do something, he can easily do it and I won’t take any notice at all. Therefore –I know – there’s nothing I can do, so that’s why I’m worrying... Or maybe it’s because it’s the first time that I haven’t cheated a boyfriend and it’s the first time that I’m feeling for someone something so strong…

Between him and her

2006-11-29T20:17:00.000+02:00

Last night we didn’t meet with my boyfriend – we live separately, I stay in his house only in the weekends- but we were talking regularly on the phone. He had a project to prepare and I was busy with the blog.
But we ‘re gonna meet later tonight although I had promised to my best friend to go to her place to watch our favorite series. Although I’d prefer to see her tonight, I’m gonna create a strong excuse for going out with him instead of going to her place. It’s because I didn’t see him last night. I can’t be in two places at the same time! I think she‘ll understand anyway…

Goin' out with him and my friends

2006-11-28T21:30:00.000+02:00

Last night we went out to a kind of cabaret-show with my boyfriend and two of my best friends, a male and a female one. All of them had a good time but me. The problem was not the show, which I quite liked it but I was so anxious because my boyfriend doesn’t quite fit with my friends – even if they don’t admit it, I think they just tolerate him but they are so kind to tell me – and I was in the middle between them and him.
I behave different when I’m with my friends than when I’m with him and I couldn’t find a way to behave last night. Furthermore a friend couldn’t stop showing to me nice guys in the place, something that made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I know he didn’t do it in purpose but only because he is so spontaneous. My boyfriend didn’t tell me anything because he is not that type of guy but I am afraid that he thought, “Imagine if I am not present what happens there…”. ‘Cause he hasn’t heard the best of rumors about me for the period before we met. And although I’ve been faithful to him as long as we’re together, these rumors aren’t far from truth.

A few introductory words..

2006-11-28T20:03:00.000+02:00

I am a little over 30, in a relationship with a guy close to my age, since 7 months. I generally like being in relationships but when I’m not, I go out to gay clubs every weekend with my friends, having fun and meeting guys either for one-night-stand or for more. This is the way I met my boyfriend but now we ‘re running a rather family life spending most of the time just the two of us, which is something I enjoy for the first time in my gay life or we see friends separately but never going to gay clubs anymore (I’m ok with that as well). We don’t live together during the weekdays, something that gives us enough space, only in the weekends I stay in his place.