15 months later: different but the same...

Here I am again, only 15 months after my last post… The partner has changed again but I have a bitter nostalgia when I think of my last boyfriend.
My best friend says that it’s a matter of zodiac signs and I’ll never be totally satisfied with whoever I have beside me; I will always want the one that I don’t have. He can be an ex or the next… But when he will become mine, I will want someone else, and so on… Once it has happened to flirt an ex while in a relationship with the guy that I cheated him with… Crazy…

Going to London!

Next weekend, that is from Thursday 30/8 till Sunday 2/9 (long weekend!) I’ll be in London with my female best friend. I’d also like to go there with my boyfriend but next time... He couldn't come anyway. With my best friend we‘ll have lots of fun and I know we‘re gonna have a great time. Can anyone suggest me of some nice, trendy bars /clubs or parties to go out (we‘re 30something), but a place that she won’t be the only straight woman there?

Meeting a new guy

Yesterday I was with some friends and there was also a guy that we had met once or twice in the past, I always found him more than attractive but yesterday we talked a lot and made me clear that he is also interested about me. I dropped him home and he asked me to come upstairs for a drink but I said I had promised to go to my best friend’s, he said “ok but I owe you a drink indoors or outdoors”. He also checked that we are going to meet on Saturday in a party and we said goodnight.
I like him a lot, in fact I’m quite enthusiastic about it, I’d like not only to have sex with him but to start something more serious. On the other hand, what shall I do with my boyfriend? We get along well, I can’t drop him out of the blue and he doesn’t deserve to be cheated. In addition does it worth to risk my satisfactory relationship with my boyfriend for something that it seems much more interesting, but if it proves not to be? I’m waiting for Saturday to see… And shall I tell to the new one that I am in a relationship? The fair will be to do so, but what if he backs off?

A new beginning...

About 20 days after my previous post, we broke up with that boyfriend. He was probably “the love of my life” so far but I wasn’t getting what I was expecting from him, so it was a kind of salvation and relief for me. A month later he called me to make up again but I had already a month relationship with another guy! Yes, the next day after breaking up I met a guy in a gay bar and we’re still together… We ‘re having a good time both in bed and out of it and it’s going well. He’s not the love of my life but I enjoy being with him.

Still here...

...we 're still together with my boyfriend, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, I didn't expct that we could be together for such a long time (13 months). It's my longest relationship - and his as well. Thanks to all of you for your reading and your concerns in your posts. Have a good time and run your lives just exactly as YOU want!

A new path

We discussed a lot with my boyfriend yesterday and we didn’t break up. As a conclusion to the conversation I realized that he loves me too but his top priority is his job for the time being and I come next. Of course I’m not happy about it but what can I do? It’s the longest relationship he’s ever had and he doesn’t know how to handle it. His love, as he gives it to me, is not enough for me. But it’s his best. It’s no use forcing him to do something beyond his abilities. I love him and I don’t wanna lose him without trying harder. It’s the first that I’m truly in love, as well…
Now even for these next few hours after the discussion, we’re better.
I also decided not to post anything about my relationship with him anymore. I wouldn’t like him to find anyhow what I’m writing about him. It’s not fair. In a way, it can be regarded as gossiping him. The next post that I’m gonna refer directly to him will be in case we break up. The next posts will be more general.
I feel so grateful to all of you who have spent some of your time so far in my blog reading my posts and writing comments. I’m quite new to the blogosphere, that’s why I am making mistakes...

About to break up

Last night we were about to break up. Perhaps I should have done so. Just because he had a guest in his house all weekend, we didn’t see each other. The same thing happened last weekend with another friend and also 2 weekends ago. He doesn’t have lust to see me and that’s ok with him. It’s 3 weeks since we haven’t done sex. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t tell me where he’s going and he doesn’t call me to know where I am. He never calls me on the mobile, he sometimes calls me home, if he finds me, it’s ok, or else he doesn’t call me on the mobile nor even sends me an sms. And when we talk afterwards he just refers me that he had called me home, in a very cool and indifferent way. He claims that he has feelings for me and when I once told him that I love him he just replied, “it’s mutual”. I never said that again…
So last night we found each other in a gay-friendly bar out of luck with our own friends… While he was feeling “oh what a coincidence” in a huge smile, I couldn’t hide my anger and sadness to find my 9-months boyfriend in such a bar. He had previously told me that he would go out with his guest and a friend, but he didn’t invite me. I had one of the saddest night and my friends were comforting me. I should have broken up.