I'm just a jealous guy...

I’m quite disappointed because I ‘ve just heard from my boyfriend that he has to make a business trip abroad and maybe another one during next summer. It may sound crazy but I’m jealous, I just can’t control it. Of course I don’t show it to him and I keep staying calm encouraging him in whatever he attempts, because this is the way I should normally behave. But the truth is that every time he’s far from me I’m afraid he will cheat me. He hasn’t ever shown me such a sign but that’s the most worrying thing. I think that if he wants to do something, he can easily do it and I won’t take any notice at all. Therefore –I know – there’s nothing I can do, so that’s why I’m worrying... Or maybe it’s because it’s the first time that I haven’t cheated a boyfriend and it’s the first time that I’m feeling for someone something so strong…

Between him and her

Last night we didn’t meet with my boyfriend – we live separately, I stay in his house only in the weekends- but we were talking regularly on the phone. He had a project to prepare and I was busy with the blog.
But we ‘re gonna meet later tonight although I had promised to my best friend to go to her place to watch our favorite series. Although I’d prefer to see her tonight, I’m gonna create a strong excuse for going out with him instead of going to her place. It’s because I didn’t see him last night. I can’t be in two places at the same time! I think she‘ll understand anyway…

Goin' out with him and my friends

Last night we went out to a kind of cabaret-show with my boyfriend and two of my best friends, a male and a female one. All of them had a good time but me. The problem was not the show, which I quite liked it but I was so anxious because my boyfriend doesn’t quite fit with my friends – even if they don’t admit it, I think they just tolerate him but they are so kind to tell me – and I was in the middle between them and him.
I behave different when I’m with my friends than when I’m with him and I couldn’t find a way to behave last night. Furthermore a friend couldn’t stop showing to me nice guys in the place, something that made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I know he didn’t do it in purpose but only because he is so spontaneous. My boyfriend didn’t tell me anything because he is not that type of guy but I am afraid that he thought, “Imagine if I am not present what happens there…”. ‘Cause he hasn’t heard the best of rumors about me for the period before we met. And although I’ve been faithful to him as long as we’re together, these rumors aren’t far from truth.

A few introductory words..

I am a little over 30, in a relationship with a guy close to my age, since 7 months. I generally like being in relationships but when I’m not, I go out to gay clubs every weekend with my friends, having fun and meeting guys either for one-night-stand or for more. This is the way I met my boyfriend but now we ‘re running a rather family life spending most of the time just the two of us, which is something I enjoy for the first time in my gay life or we see friends separately but never going to gay clubs anymore (I’m ok with that as well). We don’t live together during the weekdays, something that gives us enough space, only in the weekends I stay in his place.