Friday, January 26, 2007

He pissed me off again...



My boyfriend is so closed as a person; he doesn’t talk to others easily about himself, about what he’s doing generally or what he’s done recently. He always asks questions instead, and wants to know about other people. He does the same thing to me of course. After a 9-month relationship he replies to my question “Where have you been?” “Out”, if I ask “With whom?” he replies “With friends” or “With a friend”. Then I’m forced to ask him with which friend and where exactly. I’m not the guy who wants to know everything in detail in a pressing way, but what the fuck, that’s not an answer! If I go on asking, he does reply, but he brings me to a situation that I don’t like. And I’m almost sure that there’s nothing to do with cheating or something that I mustn’t know. It’s just his type. Unlike me who without being asked I tell him everything with every detail, what I did, where I’ve been, with whom, at what time, etc. If I did something that I wouldn’t want him to know, of course I wouldn’t tell him, he’d do the same I guess. But it’s his style that pisses me off. Uff…

5 comments:

Bruce said...

Dear Athens,

I suppose you're either directly or indirectly asking for advice, so...

1) At least for me, the most important aspect of a relationship is intimacy. I would be pissed as hell if my partner published publicly problems we were having, and I'm sure he would feel the same if I discussed him, even anonymously, over the internet. The type of advice you can get from strangers (me included), who don't know you or your partner, and have no real responsibility to you, is of very limited value. Is their opinion, when you get it at all, really worth the violation of intimacy involved?

2) Why can't you let your partner decide for himself what he wants to tell you, and when? Even if I intended to tell my partner all-- and I do, we have very few secrets from each other--- I would sorely resent his quizzing me at every turn. He should have enough respect for my judgment and trust in me to know that i will tell him all that i consider important, without his prompting, in my own time. prompting.

3) You complain so often, and say so little positive about your partner that it sounds as if you're waiting for some white knight from bloggland to come and take you away from all of this.

Anonymous said...

I don't think Bruce was entirely up to mark on point #1. I suspect we blog cause of the therapeutic effect that writing can give us. Blogging is publishing publicly - but anonymously as well, which I don't see a problem with.

I'm neither here nor there with the quizzing. I think we all are insecure, it's a natural flaw of humans and it's a little insecurity that maybe makes the quizzing. I think if you told him his cut dry answers slightly bothers you maybe he would 'offer' a bit more in the future. I'm only guessing here.

Stay strong and stick it thru. xxx.

Athens Interloper said...

intimacy is great but respect is greater and if you don't have respect then you need to get that first and then enjoy the pleasure of uncomditional intimacy

Rick Bettencourt said...

Just stopped by here by way of Maximus Leo. Interesting Blog...I love Athens. Was there a few years back.

Hope to read more about your relationship developing in a positive light.

Rick

athens_guy said...

Dear Bruce, of course I don’t entirely run my life according to the bloggers’ advice but apart from my friends whom we discuss our problems with, it’s positive and therapeutic (as GBL said) writing them down and also being a part of a kind of forum that it’s being created in the blogs, in which some views may be totally out of reality but others may have a point that I haven’t ever considered. I don’t feel that I’m exposing my boyfriend in a bad way ‘cause it’s anonymous and it’s global. What if I was in a group therapy here in Athens saying the same things?
And I’m not waiting anyone from bloggland, I’ve never searched for a boyfriend there. I’m with my boyfriend because the good things are still more than the bad things. But I’m only complaining for the things I’d like him to improve, not for the overall relationship.
Thanks to all of you, anyway.